Phi Delta Theta Fraternity

My Two Phi Delt Sons

Posted on April 17, 2013 by phidelt

By Suzie Benfield

As a mother of two Phi Delts, I can give a firsthand account of “learning as we go.” When our oldest son went out of state to college in 2003, it was a whole new world for all of us. Then after the first month on campus he called and said he wanted to join a fraternity. His dad and I were clueless as to what that meant. All we knew of fraternities was from the media, primarily John Belushi in Animal House. Oh No!! We set off to educate ourselves and to trust our son’s judgment. Cost was also a concern, so our son promised to get a part-time job to pay his dues. He held several leadership positions within the fraternity and campus-wide. After college, he went to graduate school and starting working with fraternities and sororities as a professional. Now, he works for Phi Delt’s headquarters. Who knew his fraternity experience would turn in to a career?

Five years later our second son decided to attend to same college and join the same fraternity as his older brother. We were much more aware of what that meant and were fully supportive of his decision. He also had to work part time to pay his dues. The great experiences and family environment at the Phi Delta Theta house continued. Our youngest son even lived in the same room at the house, as our oldest. He also went on to find success through the fraternity and hold positions within the fraternity and became the campus Inter-fraternity Council president in his junior year.

Joining Phi Delta Theta and being an active member not only enhanced our sons’ growth and maturity, but they developed unmatched leadership experiences. The fraternity brothers encouraged each other to do their very best and provide peer stimulus to make good grades. They were a part of many community service projects while in college, and continue to practice that service. They have developed lifelong relationships and connections for opportunities that they would otherwise not be exposed to.

We have had many Fall and Spring break gatherings at our home over the 8 years of college education. Living in Southwest Florida was the perfect place for them to visit and go to the beach, lay by the pool and hang out in the evenings. Sometimes as many as 10 Phi Delt brothers would come, many having to sleep on the floor. The brothers that were international students were some of the most memorable guests and we enjoyed learning about their cultures. Every one of the young men were people we wanted our sons to associate with. I actually became famous for my fish tacos and lemon cake, while our sons’ dad was famous for his baby back ribs. We soon became known as “Mama and Papa B,” and consider it an honor to be part of the Phi Delta Theta family. We’ve even given a speech or two to all the new parents during the fraternity’s luncheon during Parent’s Weekend. Looking back, we are very proud that we supported our sons’ decisions to join a fraternity, and we are very thankful for the experiences that Phi Delta Theta has provided them.

Filed under: Parent Relations | Tagged: Fraternity, Phi Delt, Phi Delta Theta, Suzie Benfield | 2 Comments »

Paul’s Mom – I have a Phikeia???

Posted on April 16, 2013 by phidelt

By Brandie Clark

The bedroom down the hall is empty, the television hasn’t been turned on in weeks, I change the sheets more out of habit than need, the clothes hanging in the closet go unworn, my son has moved out into the dorms. College life loomed ahead of him. The journey began with chemistry, biology, math, history, the trip to Ecaudor, the Galapagos Islands, the Amazon, and Honor’s classes. Paul is the first in our family to attend a 4-year university right out of high school. As if that weren’t enough, a fraternity too?

This is my first blog, my first attempt at recording my experience beyond a diary I kept in Jr. High. It is with great pride that I take this mission on. As a new fraternity Mom, as a college Mom (now with 2 boys in college), as an excited Mom, a sounding board, an observer, a woman, a single Mom, as a colleague, as a friend, as a confidant… I hope to tell you our story. I have faith that I will be sharing stories that will excite you, stories that will alleviate the fears, stories that will inspire, stories that will make you laugh, stories that may make you shed a tear, stories that will bond us PARENTS of the ones chosen to be Phi Delts. This, I know, is going to be a journey, not only for Paul but also for myself.

Before I tell you how it began, let me tell you what I knew about Fraternities before my son decided to pledge. My first memories of “Frats” include scenes from Van Wilder, Animal House and Revenge of the Nerds. There is no way I would want my kid involved in that! Visions of crazy Toga parties, beds being thrown out of the frat house windows, beer chugging contests & bra’s hanging from chandeliers. I actually pledged as a “little sister” to one of those “Frats” in my last year of high school. I will keep the name out of this blog as things may be very different now. So, believe me, I have/had those same fears, anxieties & maybe a few giggles that you might be having. Phi Delta Theta isn’t one of those, and perhaps they don’t exist anymore. The few men I have met on campus that are Phi Delts are respectable, well-mannered gentlemen. I haven’t heard any rumors, nor seen any evidence that this behavior exists within the Phi Delts and that makes me a happy Mom.

How it all started. I am awakened to a text from Paul, it reads “I got a bid”. Huh? A what? How does that happen? What do I need to do? Can I see it? Can I touch it? Oh wait… can you tell me? Two days before my son’s 19^th birthday he received his bid. What a great birthday present! What is a bid you might ask, just as I did. Well… from what I understand, it meant the brothers of the Phi Delta Theta Cal Rho chapter at the University of La Verne in La Verne, California found my son to be what they were looking for to join their group? Family? Organization? Fraternity? This is all so new to me! I can’t wait to have all the right terminology, be able to say all the right things, but for now (day 3) I am still “winging” it, and learning just as my son is learning his part. The next night was the actual pinning ceremony, where he received this diamond shaped light blue pin with the word “Phikeia”. He is actually a Phikeia of the Alpha Xi class. He has been elected the Phikeia Class Chair, how exciting, right? I have been told it is a 6-week process from Phikeia to Phi Delta Theta, and that some don’t make it. So many things to do, so much to learn, and then (IF he makes it—which I have faith he will) the initiation into Brotherhood. He was so full of pride, as was I! I was so sad to find out that this is a ceremony and therefore I couldn’t attend. (One more way us parents must let go. Sigh! ) We are becoming a Phi Delta Theta family!

February 25, 2013 was his 19^th birthday. Across the table from me sat an emerging man… a pledge for Phi Delta Theta AKA Phikeia. His pin perfectly place above his heart, just as it should be. Proudly he showed us his Phikeia book, and recited the Greek Alphabet for me. His little sister & I listened as he told us about his excitement, looking forward to the bonding exercises, the rock painting, meetings, rituals (which he explains he can’t talk about), the philanthropic activities to come, and the pledging process. As we left his birthday dinner, he quickened his pace to make sure he opened the door for us. Such a gentleman in the making… Thank you Phi Delts!

It was comforting to hear that hazing won’t be a part of his experience transitioning from a Phikeia to a Phi Delta Theta. When he told me the beginning of his freshman year that he wanted to join a fraternity, I will admit, I had some trepidation but also some excitement. I had such pride that my son wanted to display a Greek symbol, take part in a “family” bigger than our own, share secrets, pride, and love of this organization. As I read more about Phi Delta Theta, read the list of accomplished Phi Delts included men such as Neil Armstrong, Frank Lloyd Wright, Tim Conway, Phil Walden and so many more! I knew my son was going to be in good and honorable company.

Our family embraces this experience! We can’t wait for the next step! Watching our Son, Grandson, Brother, Nephew grow to a man as a Phi Delta Theta.

Brandie (Paul’s Mom)

Filed under: Parent Relations | Tagged: Brandie Clark, California Rho, Fraternity, La Verne, Phi Delta Theta, Phikeia | 4 Comments »

Brotherhood: What I’ve Learned Through Loss

Posted on April 11, 2013 by phidelt

By Ryan Schell, Expansion Consultant

There is a well-known fraternity cliché that I am sure the majority of people reading this have heard before. It is said that fraternity brothers will be the first to arrive at your wedding and the last to leave your funeral. While I have yet to attend a fraternity brother’s wedding, I plan on making an early appearance. Unfortunately, I cannot say so much for the latter.

Trent Taylor was the kind of guy that you couldn’t help but gravitate towards. Trent was our star intramural athlete, our head of recruitment, the chapter member who always had a sorority date night to attend, he was my pledge brother, and most importantly he was the first person to meet you with a smile as you entered the chapter house courtyard. At one point I remember thinking of Trent as the Florida Gamma “welcome mat.” He was always there, always with a greeting, and always prepared to dust you off after a long day. Trent made everyone feel comfortable. Trent made everyone feel at home.

On April 7^th 2012, a fellow Phi, Trent Taylor was involved in an accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Over the next few days, the staff at Orlando’s Regional Medical Center struggled to find room for the influx of family, friends, and Phis that traveled to be with Trent and his family. We watched, waited, hoped, and prayed for Trent to improve. We cried, we joked, and we laughed at the many stories that Trent had been the center of.

On the evening of April 12^th, hundreds of friends from the Florida State community gathered on campus to memorialize Trent. Some told stories, some said prayers, and others came simply to support our chapter. For many, this was their chance to say goodbye. Ian Trent Taylor passed away on April 12^th as we gathered at Florida State’s Westcott Fountain to remember him.

In the year since Trent passed, I have tried to make some sense of his death and all of the experiences that surrounded such a tremendous loss. I am not sure that I will ever truly understand, but I have certainly learned a few things about Fraternity and Brotherhood.

Brotherhood is Support

As a leader in my chapter, I frequently felt that I was carrying my chapter through every situation no matter how small or large. I felt as if I was constantly supporting one of our one hundred forty members. I had a very different realization during Trent’s memorial service in Orlando. I sat in the second row behind Trent’s closest friend and roommates. I sat there to support them, as the same brothers were also some of my closest friends. What I noticed in that moment was the two hundred or more Phis who sat in the rows behind me, supporting me as I did my best to support those that sat in the row ahead. I believe this is an essence of Brotherhood that leaders frequently fail to realize. We do not support our brothers and carry their burdens because we are stronger or better suited to do so. We support them because while we struggle, there are always brothers behind us carrying a little bit of the weight.

Brotherhood is more than Friendship

As Brothers of Phi Delta Theta, we all recognize Friendship as one of our cardinal principles. But I believe that Brotherhood is more than the word friendship could ever explain. Friends share experiences and memories, as Brothers we share a bond that few outsiders will ever witness. We feel with one another through every success and every failure. We laugh and cry as much for each other as we do for ourselves. When Trent passed, I shed as many tears for my Brothers’ loss as I did for my own. We are connected by far more than Friendship. We are truly linked heart to heart.

Brotherhood is real

No one would argue that members of Phi Delta Theta are Brothers. We have defined our relationship as such. What I am talking about exists outside of our definition of our association. Common knowledge would suggest that as my chapter mourned the loss of Trent, we were one less member and therefore our Brotherhood had shrunk. In reality, it had soared to levels that I could have never imagined. Trent’s passing had ignited a flame in all of us. We may have been one less member, but our Brotherhood was stronger than ever. As we returned to Tallahassee for classes, exams, and eventually graduation, I could not help but feel stronger and closer to my Brothers than ever before.

As Brothers we are far more than the sum of our parts. We are more than chapter meetings, parties, and even the ritual that guides us. Brotherhood exists outside of the individuals that embody it. Trent will forever be a part of that Brotherhood.

As I travel the country growing our great Fraternity as an Expansion Consultant for Phi Delta Theta, I carry Trent’s memory and our story. Through our Brotherhood, he touches every campus, colony, and individual that I work with. Trent, and what he meant to my chapter, will always be a part of how I define Brotherhood and Fraternity.Brotherhood is the good and the bad, the smiles and the tears, the weddings and the funerals. But most of all it is real and it is lasting. And it has changed my life for the better. Though we are separated by distance, Mary Todd Taylor, Tanner Taylor, and the Florida Gamma Chapter will always be in my thoughts.

The Florida Gamma Chapter will be hosting the Inaugural Trent Taylor Memorial “Power Strut” 5k this weekend benefiting the Brain Injury Association of Florida.

If you enjoyed or related to this post in any way, please consider making a contribution in Trent’s memory at http://www.youcaring.com/nonprofits/trent-taylor-5k-power-strut-/49634

Filed under: Brotherhood, GHQ Staff Blogger | Tagged: Brotherhood, Florida State, Fraternity, Loss, Phi Delta Theta, Ryan Schell, Trent Taylor | 2 Comments »

A Core Unwritten Philosophy in Phi Delta Theta: Perseverance

Posted on April 9, 2013 by phidelt

By Brad Markis, York University

My time at Phi Delta Theta has been a rewarding and unparalleled experience. Through my three years as a Refounding Father of a chapter, I’ve traveled all across North America with my brothers, from Toronto to California, and I’ve seen my chapter quadruple in size. I’ve also helped create an indestructible brotherhood on my campus, a campus that is institutionally hostile towards any Greek organization. It is through the battle of this hostility that I found and honed a trait so imbedded in the core of Phi Delta Theta and its members that it is often forgotten from mention, but vital to this brotherhood. That trait is perseverance.

I first learned of the concept of perseverance while I was in high school at a church youth-group. While I don’t remember much, or agree with much of the preaching the youth pastor did, I do remember the concept of perseverance, a concept that time and time again has helped me through life. Perseverance is the steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

All chapters and all individuals in Phi Delta Theta will have to persevere at one point or another. Phi Delta Theta has been around for over 160 years, and has persevered through wars, fallacious stereotypes, and other various tragedies. Individual chapters have faced a variety of problems through time, but through perseverance beat the odds. I believe that perseverance, while being a trait imbedded in Phi Delta Theta, needs to be a trait that is brought to light and pursued with vigor.

Whether in fraternity matters, or personal life, perseverance is one of the most beneficial traits a man can hold, and through perseverance we help exemplify the three cardinal principles of this Fraternity. Friendship, sound learning, and moral rectitude all require perseverance in their pursuit and attainment. Perseverance through the boom and bust cycles of chapters, as well as the boom and bust of life itself, plays a vital role in differentiating our organization and our individuals from others. If I have one wish for the aggregate of this Fraternity, it is that they realize that they hold a trait as a man of Phi Delta Theta that makes them indestructible if they truly cherish it.

I graduate this summer, and eagerly look forward to my future as an alumnus of Phi Delta Theta. I know as I leave the cocoon of undergraduate life with my Economics degree, I will face inevitable obstacles and difficult circumstances. That being said, I also know that as a man of Phi Delta Theta, I am capable of persevering through life’s challenges until death itself, as my brothers have done before me. The strength of my brotherhood and the influence of The Bond, paired with the perseverance that flows through every man of Phi Delta Theta shall keep me on the righteous path of glory.

Brad Markis is a graduating Economics & Psychology student at York University in Toronto. He is one of the Refounding Fathers and former Vice-President of his chapter, Ontario Delta.

Filed under: Student Bloggers | Tagged: Brad Markis, Fraternity, Perserverance, Phi Delta Theta, York University | Leave a Comment »

LinkedIn Question of the Month – Selling Your PDT Experience During Job Interviews

Posted on April 1, 2013 by phidelt

Question: How did you sell the skills acquired during your Phi Delt experience in job interviews?

Filed under: Career Advice | Tagged: Job Interviews, LinkedIn, Phi Delta Theta | Leave a Comment »

What Does It Mean To “Become the Greatest Version of Yourself”?

Posted on March 19, 2013 by phidelt

By Dwight Stevenson, Syracuse

During my last semester as an undergraduate, I overheard a classmate talking about the new fraternity he and some friends were helping to get started. After talking to him about it after class, I decided to check it out. In our student center were a couple of well-dressed young men standing behind a table covered with a blue Phi Delta Theta cloth, flanked by banners of Lou Gehrig on one side, and Neil Armstrong on the other. As I spoke with the expansion consultants and looked at the materials, my mind kept returning to the tagline “Become the Greatest Version of Yourself.”

When I transferred to Syracuse University in the Spring of 2010, I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste time with extracurriculars, that I was in college for an education and a degree. I didn’t want to pursue anything that was going to hinder my academic performance, and yet, here I was three semesters removed from swearing off extracurriculars, considering a fraternity. From everything I had been told by the consultants and read in the materials, Phi Delta Theta was not just any fraternity, it was a fraternity that wants to help its members achieve excellence in all aspects of life.

What I found locally at New York Epsilon, as well as throughout the fraternity at the Presidents Leadership Conference, General Convention and Kleberg Emerging Leaders Institute is a group of young men committed to bettering themselves, their campuses and their communities. I am continuously inspired and challenged to do more and be even better by men I call Brothers in the Bond. During rush last semester I likened my chapter to an incubator of highly motivated people pushing each other to be even more successful, pushing each other to become the greatest version of themselves.

The beautiful thing about our fraternity’s tagline, is the individual nature of it. People often associate conformity and suppression of individuality with Greek organizations, and yet here emblazoned on nearly everything Phi Delta Theta publishes is a tagline urging its membership to develop their own unique, and individual talents. Diversity of individuals and their talents is what has made the United States of America the strong nation that it is today, what made my chapter, New York Epsilon at Syracuse University, the strong chapter that it is, and is also what has made Phi Delta Theta such a strong fraternity.

Becoming the Greatest Version of Yourself requires a certain amount of self-knowledge. What I mean by self-knowledge is knowing what makes you, you. It means knowing your strengths, weaknesses, values and goals. It means knowing the things that will drive you, as well as those that will hold you back. Taking time to develop this self-knowledge through reflection will help you to recognize yourself at present, as well as that greatest version you’d like to become.

Personally, becoming the greatest version of myself meant stepping up to the challenge of being a graduate student, student teacher, and chapter president. These different hats and responsibilities each required vast amounts of time and effort, and yet I still had only 24 hours in a day. I had to learn to manage my time better, to delegate tasks and responsibilities that could be delegated, schedule time for myself and others so as to maintain the personal relationships with friends and family that mean so much to me. By taking the time and figuring out what I value, when time constraints required I give things up, I was able to sacrifice those things that meant the least to me, and focus my time and energy on those that meant the most.

In striving to Become the Greatest Version of Myself, I will never focus on becoming the most amazing basketball player, (my chapter brothers can attest I’m not even close), but rather, I will focus on being the best teacher, mentor, brother, uncle, friend, etc. that I can. The greatest version of myself is inspired by great men and women of the past, teachers I looked up to in school, Brothers in the Bond, my family, and all who help me to strive each day to be even better, and do even more to be of service to the world.

Dwight Stevenson is a recent graduate of Syracuse University, as well as a Re-Founding Father and former president of the New York Epsilon Chapter.

Filed under: Greatest Version of Yourself | Tagged: Dwight Stevenson, Greatest Version of Yourself, New York Epsilon, Phi Delta Theta, Syracuse | Leave a Comment »